


Bump and Grind

by DRHPaints



Series: Kinky Bill One Shots [12]
Category: American (US) Actor RPF, Bill Hader - Fandom, Bill Hader RPF, US Comedians RPF
Genre: Clubbing, Cunnilingus, Dancing, Dry Humping, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Grinding, One Shot, Public Sex, Smut, Stranger Sex, Vaginal Fingering, cum in pants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:19:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26665060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DRHPaints/pseuds/DRHPaints
Summary: When Bill is stuck at a dance club for an office party, he’s bored and miserable, until the beautiful Lola asks him to dance. After the movements of her body get him overexcited on the dance floor, Bill is embarrassed. But Lola doesn’t mind, dragging Bill to the alley to continue the fun.
Relationships: Bill Hader/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Kinky Bill One Shots [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1877902
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Bump and Grind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [damn_conan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/damn_conan/gifts).



Sipping his seltzer and shuffling closer to the wall, Bill peered around miserably. He wasn’t sure why he agreed to this. Bill didn’t enjoy crowds, loud music, or dancing, so the idea of being trapped in a club was exhausting. It didn’t help that one or more of his coworkers would drift by every few minutes to shout a half intelligible, “ _Heyyyyy_!” Or “Bill, man! I love you, dude!” While sober Bill nodded and attempted to look like he was having a good time.

Finishing his drink, Bill figured going to the bar and getting a refill would at least kill some time and he felt socially obligated to stay for another hour, so he moseyed over, gesturing to the bartender who was resolutely ignoring anyone without breasts, and sighed.

“Vodka sour, please.” A voice piped up at his shoulder as Bill saw an elegant ivory arm extended. Turning, a tallish, curvaceous woman with crimson hair stood next to him, waving over the bartender who approached her, shark-like. 

“What’re you having, beautiful?” Leaning on his elbow, the guy positively leaked sleaze and Bill’s lip curled in disgust on the woman’s behalf. 

“Vodka sour.” She repeated herself. 

Bending forward, the bartender winked. “Give me your number when I come back, and you can drink for free.” He walked away and the woman looked around, spotting Bill.

“Hey…” She motioned for him to come closer with two fingers. “Can you do me a huge favor?”

“Um…” Bill shifted his eyes, caught off guard.

“That guy,” Pointing over her shoulder with her thumb subtly, the woman made a face. “Is super creepy. When he comes back, will you pretend to be my boyfriend? Just for a minute. You’d really be helping me out.”

“Oh.” Seeing the predatory server returning, Bill blinked. “Okay. Sure.”

“Great.” Nodding, she quickly grabbed Bill’s arm, slipping it over her shoulder.

Bartender swaying back, when he saw Bill, arm around the redhead, his grin faded as he placed her drink on the counter. “That’ll be $7.” He said stiffly. She passed over the money and he disappeared to the other side of the bar. 

“Ugh, thank you.” She sighed. “If you didn’t do that, I would’ve had to go thirsty all night just trying to avoid him.”

Bill chuckled, then realizing his arm was still around her, he lowered it, resolving himself to the fact that there was a good chance he’d probably never get another seltzer. “No problem.” 

Her emerald eyes traveled over him for a moment. “I’m Lola, by the way.” Extending a hand, Lola smiled.

“As in, the showgirl?” Bill smirked, large palm enveloping hers. Lola rolled her eyes. “Sorry, you must get that all the time.”

“Constantly.” She closed her eyes, nodding.

“I’m Bill.” He bobbed his head.

“Nice to meet you, Bill.” Lola sipped her drink. “So, have you been here at _Crease_ before?”

Shaking his head, Bill glanced around with wide eyes. “No, not really my thing, if I’m honest. Just here for an office party.”

“Nice.” Nodding slowly, Bill felt Lola’s eyes on him again. “So...you wanna dance?”

Taken aback, Bill’s pink lips parted. “Oh...I...I don’t really dance.” He shrugged, cobalt eyes shifting nervously.

“Aw, come on.” Lola nudged him with her shoulder. “I bet you’re better than you think. One dance. What’s the harm?”

_I could look like a jackass in front of a gorgeous woman and all the people I work with, for a start._ Bill thought, but her dazzling green eyes and come hither smile were exceptionally convincing, so Bill found himself nodding, allowing Lola to lead him onto the dance floor. 

Weaving through the throng of pulsing bodies, Lola dragged Bill all the way to the back wall. Bill was curious, but didn’t question her as Lola draped her arms around his broad shoulders, swaying back and forth in time to the music. 

Beat thumping through the club, Bill tried to keep up as Lola undulated before him. It was obvious she loved to dance, and the way she was able to move her body was intoxicating, hips rolling and switching with the beat as her hands crawled over Bill’s firm chest and into his chestnut locks.

Pulling him close, Lola’s face wove before him, noses nearly touching as she molded her body against Bill, swiveling tantalizingly from side to side, her upper thigh rubbing against his crotch.

Hands at her waist, Bill allowed them to travel around to the small of her back, holding Lola near. Nestling against him, Bill’s stubble grazed her cheek and he shivered as Lola’s lips passed within less than an inch of his own.

A new song started that Bill was unfamiliar with, but it had a deep, resounding bass line. Sultry. Sexy. And Lola spun in his arms, putting her back to him before she began grinding her round ass into Bill’s groin.

Persistently rotating, Lola leaned back, wrapping her arms around his neck, eyes heavy with lust as she smiled at Bill. Hands on her hips, Bill inhaled Lola’s heady scent of sweet pea and citrus until he noticed her repeated movements were making his cock twitch and thicken beneath his jeans. 

Bill lifted his hips away, looking around in alarm, but when Lola sensed the separation, she backed up into him more insistently. Stepping away again, when Lola glanced up at him, Bill shifted his eyes, chewing on his lip and lifting a shoulder as he tried to cover himself with his hand.

Spotting the outline of his cock, Lola smirked, raising her eyebrows. Turning her ass to him again, she snaked an arm back, taking Bill’s hip and guiding him toward her.

Bill tried to ask, “Are you sure?” But he wasn’t certain Lola heard him over the throbbing music as her ass began buffing him once more. This time, however, Lola’s ministrations were more...concentrated. Arms at his neck again, Lola played with his dark hair, brushing kisses to Bill’s neck as she gradually bent and raised her knees, asscheeks gliding up and down Bill’s hard cock.

Friction delicious, Bill closed his strong arms around her and timidly rocked his hips forward, feeling his cock notch into the crack of her ass through the fabric as Lola sped up. Hands clamped over her hips, Bill thrust himself against her, panting into the sweaty skin of Lola’s neck as she nodded fervently, fingers crawling over him as Bill desperately sought her warmth.

“ _Oh fuck…_ ” Bill murmured, but his voice was drowned in the deafening tones of the music while he frenetically humped, fingers digging into Lola as his eyes clenched and his lips parted. The alluring passage of fabric, heat, and her body proving overwhelming as Bill’s hips juddered forth, clinging to Lola and releasing a drawn out moan as a moist spot spread over his jeans.

Releasing her, Lola turned around and immediately Bill held up his hands, before dropping them to cover his crotch, backing away, shaking his head and shifting his eyes. “I’m sorry.” Forming the words carefully with his mouth as a pink hue rose to his cheeks, he hoped Lola discerned his meaning even if she couldn’t hear him. But a smirk played over her lips and Lola stepped toward him, taking Bill by the hand and indicating he should follow.

Lola led him out of the smoker’s exit, overwhelming sounds of the club immediately muffled as the door closed behind them, replaced by the chatter, laughter, and traffic noises drifting from the late Saturday night street. Guiding Bill down an alley, now that it was quieter, he apologized again.

“I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to…”

Grinning, Lola lassoed him in. “Don’t worry about it. Just kiss me.”

Hooking her hand around the back of Bill’s neck, Lola brought Bill in and captured his lips, Tossing a leg around his waist and humming in delight when Bill pressed her closer to the wall. Bill’s large hand tentatively traveled up Lola’s body, pausing below her rib cage and she took his wrist, moving Bill to her breast. Massaging her over her shirt for a moment, Bill dipped his fingers into the cup of her bra, thumb and index tweaking a hard nipple as Lola rutted her pelvis against him.

“Mmm...touch me.” Lola purred, breaking their kiss and brushing her lips over Bill’s crisp jawline.

Nodding, Bill kissed his way down her neck, dragging his teeth lightly over her sensitive skin as his hand worked under the waistband of her skirt and panties, discovering Lola’s slickness and circling her clit. Lola rocked into his palm, fingers twirling through his short dark hair as breathy moans began to escape her plump lips.

“ _Oh Bill! Yes! Just like that!”_ Lola gasped as Bill’s fingers spun over her, clinging to his vast shoulders as the single leg holding her aloft shook. 

“Yeah, does that feel good?” Bill uttered, lips hot on her ear as he pressed Lola into the brick wall. “Do you like that?”

“ _Yes!”_ Eyes closed and neck arched, Lola’s open mouthed sounds of desire echoed down the alleyway as she scrambled at Bill’s arm. “ _Yes, you’re gonna make me cum! Fuck! Yes!”_ Body folding around him, Lola shuddered, high pitched cry trickling from her lips before Bill stilled his hand. 

Linking with her lips, Bill attempted to kiss her as Lola caught her breath, mouth unable to keep up with his before he parted and combed back her auburn hair. Sapphire eyes darting between her own, Bill’s thumb rubbed Lola’s temple. “I want to go down on you.” Still carrying a weight of guilt from his indiscretion in the club as the stain hardened on his pants, part of Bill felt the need to make up for it. At the same time, however, he genuinely enjoyed the act and the thought of getting on his knees and devouring Lola in public made him excited.

“Yeah, okay.” Lola nodded, grinning and caressing Bill’s firm chest. Prominent dark eyebrows dancing, Bill smiled and knelt before her, lifting one of Lola’s legs over his expansive shoulder and pushing her panties to the side. Digging forward with his sculpted jaw, Bill lapped at Lola’s swollen clit without pretext, moaning into her flesh and consuming with abandon.

“Oh Bill, that’s...that’s... _fuck!”_ Fingers working into his short dark hair, Lola writhed up and down the brick wall as Bill’s tongue danced over her engorged nub. When his lips closed around her, sucking her clit into his mouth and rolling it between his lips as he flicked with his tongue, a scream tore through the alley and Lola curved over Bill’s body as she dripped down his chin.

“ _Bill, yes! Fuck! Don’t stop!”_ Voracity unbound, Bill took two handfuls of Lola’s ass, and she humped his eager chiseled face as his mouth moved over her with vigor, tearing at Bill’s scalp and crying out his name as she quaked and fought to keep herself upright.

Bill emerged, wiping his face on his sleeve, hands going to Lola’s waist as he rested their foreheads together. 

“Mmm...that was great.” Lola smiled, arms laying across Bill’s shoulders once she composed herself.

“Yeah.” Bill gave Lola a brief peck, smiling. “Turns out the office party wasn’t so bad after all.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read! If you enjoyed this story please leave a comment or come say hi on tumblr at fandomtransmandom. I also take requests!


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